Re: Look Who's Coming for Dinner

aasha · aasha on Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:27 am

- He doesn't believe me... - It was like a punch to the gut, he'd deftly avoided her question of trust in his answer. She wanted to be indignant still, to lash out at him, but couldn't find it in her to do so. - So why's he like me if he thinks I killed Aimar? Or does he? Was this all just an act to see if I'd confess...to put me in the gaols...

you really think he's capable of that?

why wouldn't I be? he went from mocking me to helping me

and you went from mocking him to feelings for him... -

But the thought was there, even if she tried to convince herself otherwise. Closing her eyes, her hand went limp in his as she began to talk softly, almost to herself.

I asked ya once without sayin' 'bout what would happen if'n my past came out. Ya told me chances are it wouldn't be held 'gainst me. Not in no court...but yer holdin' it 'gainst me ain't ya? She glanced up, her eyes vacant even with tears glittering on her lashes. Hiding inside herself was better if she were to do this, if she could even make him understand. Keeping the pain away was her only goal now, not convincing him of her innocence.

I gots a cousin what enjoyed kickin' an' hittin' me when he ken. Gots used to it...its his right...but he always wanted to go one step further than what I ken take. Last time I saw him...he'd been drinkin' an' gamblin'...an' lost. deep shaky breath Tiff don't know..only saw what he done...always figured runnin' was safer. Kept me from gettin' caught...an' anyone 'round me safe.

Her head lowered further as she tried to fight off memories the words brought to mind. Not fully succeeding, a small shiver ran through her as she bit her lip. Lost...an' I was payment. Gave me to him fer a week...to pay off his debt. Cookin' an' cleanin'...two things I been told all the time I weren't good at, but thats what I was expectin' I guess. Weren't what he wanted...an' when he tried to takes more, I hit him an' ran. Don't rightly know if'n he's livin' or not...didn't stop to look, jus' ran an' ran...an' weren't gonna stop till I was told that weren't livin'...

She met his eyes then, the shadows haunting hers obvious even in her withdrawn state. ...its the only time I ever hurt nobody. Been hurt 'nuff, didn't want nobody to suffer likes I did. An' ya thinks I'd hurt the one what showed me what a friend is...

She couldn't continue, the safe haven she'd always hidden in shattered as she allowed thoughts of Aimar to escape. All that she lost, and she was still losing...would she ever win anything?

aasha · aasha on Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:28 am

TheRedChef wrote:"The past can drive us to certain...ends. I can tell you still relive it. The fear as you were pulled to an uncertain, the stink of his hot breath, the clumsy groping, the itching straw, his crushing wait on you, the worn wood in your hand, and then, the blood.

"I doubt you even remember that last day with Aimar. How much could he possible care about you? I've never even seen you in public with him. Men like him take what they want when they want. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to take it that day. Everything from that one night would come flooding back, and so much for Aimar.

"You couldn't even talk when you found me, and then you ran.

"Aimar doesn't matter one whit to me and I decided some time ago to...some things just pale to..." He trailed off

"It was no accident. If you didn't kill him, then who did?"

aasha · aasha on Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:29 am

His words pulled her back, into the nightmare she'd tried so hard to block. He was right in some, but not all.

-No one ever came to the barn, it was supposed to be her refuge. Why did he come?

You're mine girl, mine for a week. Mine for anything I want. Come here girl, let me look at my property.

No, I'm not yours! Get off, leave me alone. I'm not yours, he can't give me to you! Let me go!

The anger that her cousin had used her as payment, the feeling of worthlessness that overcome her. The stink of his breath, the stench of his clothing, the oiliness of his hands. The teeth grinning maliciously at her as he'd blocked her in the corner of the barn. The sound of buttons popping off, the feel of his teeth on her skin. Pain as he bit. Her hand, groping for the shovel leaning on the wall. Splinters forced deep as she'd tried to stretch her palm further. The weight of the shovel, the pain from the bite. Her scream, tears, cries for help that never came. Blood everywhere, his weight, running. -

She was crying freely then, everything she'd blocked came rushing in. As he talked of Aimar, those tumbled through as well.

- He was lying in a pool of blood, small paw prints dried throughout the house where Pea had walked through the pool, the smell overwhelming in the room. He looked so broken, defeated. The blood smeared on the counter, the pot laying in the pool. She'd kneeled at his side, trying so hard to wake him, yet his lifeless form had not moved. He was gone, long before she'd arrived, left her in a way she couldn't fight. Crying until she was exhausted, then finally forcing herself up, the animals in tow, and looking for someone, anyone to help.

Each step away from the cottage forced the memories deeper, each one giving her a chance to hide all emotions, to find a safe place within, where no one could touch, no one could hurt her again. She tried to convince herself she was fine. Practically lifeless, barely talking, she'd told Red. Her life was over with the last breath he'd taken, all alone. She had nothing to live for, no reason to stay.

Closed off till she took Red to the cottage. He wanted her to go in, motioned for her to show him. She couldn't go through the door, couldn't see him like that again. Couldn't face his end. Turned and bolted, running, burying the memories deeper, until she could cope. -

Her shoulders slumped. Defeated, she whispered; I tries not to relive nothin'...maybe thats the problem. Blockin' out what hurts ain't really livin' neither, even though I'm claimin' I wants to. Jus' always figured not facin' some things was better'n bein' 'fraid...findin' that one place where nothin' ken touch me... She was broken, that place within gone, the walls down much faster than she'd managed to build them.

He said he loved me Red...said it weren't proper...I weren't even wit' him that last day. I was in the orchard wit' Pillow. Lots saw me there...went to takes him fruit. - What had happened to the fruit? Were they still there when the house burned? - She didn't even feel the wetness upon her cheeks, dripping down onto Tiff's gown. I couldn't face he was gone...I was alone all over 'gain. Jus' like I always was...wit' nobody carin', nobody 'round. Jus' me...it hurt. Hurt so bad to think of it Red...he was gone an' I weren't wit' him, weren't there to help. I walked into that house an' he was already gone. Jus' him an' Pea there then...he died alone. I thought he fell...hit his head 'gain.

Pulling her hand from his, she stood shakily. Her body was swaying, the skirts forgotten as she turned to go. His last words stopped her. Another swish of the material and she was facing him again, dangerously close to falling, her eyes narrowed. Decided to what? Yer pullin' it all up, makin' me feel pain when I didn't...don't wanna feel nothin'.

She couldn't maintain the anger, not when she looked at him, the pang inside worse than any memories she could dredge up. Feelin'...feelin' more'n pain...feelin' what I shouldn't fer ya...thinkin' ya didn't care that I ain't no lady. That... Shaking her head, lowering her lashes, looking at him hurt. Pales to what Red? Nothin' pales to thinkin' ya gots a future...jus' fer a moment...then findin' out its only ever gonna be a dream. I don't know who killed him, ken only says it weren't me...but yer not never gonna believe that. If'n ya don't trust me...then it jus' proves I ain't meant to do more'n dream...

aasha · aasha on Mon Oct 20, 2008 6:03 am

TheRedChef wrote:"Jah damnit," he hissed as he grabbed her arms and hoisted her to her toes. "You just don't get it! I care greatly for you and you just, you just have no idea. None at all!"

"Listen to me. One more word of this poor pity me crap and I will cut you off like a diseased limb and leave you to whatever ill fate finds you."

He dropped her on a nearby chair and stormed for the door.

aasha · aasha on Mon Oct 20, 2008 6:19 am

The shock of his actions broke through, stopping her tears immediately. As he lifted her higher, she flinched, trying desperately to brace for the blow that never came. I don't get it? Don't get what?

She was up almost as soon as he'd dropped her, hiking her skirts again as she rushed over to grab his arm. She was steaming mad then, her eyes flashing fire. You don't get it!; she gritted out. I care what ya think, or I won't be tryin' so damn hard to make ya see the truth!

aasha · aasha on Sat Nov 08, 2008 7:35 pm

TheRedChef wrote:He whirled around when she grabbed him.

"It doesn't matter to me who you killed. Not some man in a barn, not Aimar." He spits the last name out.

"If you are that adament, that certain of yourself, then I won't deny it.

"Since you didn't, do you have any idea what that means?

aasha · aasha on Sat Nov 08, 2008 7:36 pm

Her eyes were on his, her hand still gripping his arm when his words sank in. - Since I didn't...it means someone else did... - She shivered and tried to absorb the warmth in their contact. Means we don't know who did it...if'n...it were meant to hurt him...or me...or even Tiff... - It means it could be your fault Ash...he could be dead because of you, even though not by your hand. -

She couldn't bear to think of it, connecting those dots only made her fear for Red, for anyone she cared about. She should step away, distance herself from him, for his own safety, yet her only movement was a tightening of her fingers on him.

aasha · aasha on Sat Nov 08, 2008 7:36 pm

TheRedChef wrote:Red pauses to consider. Would she run? To take her chances on the road? He did not like entertaining that future.

"I think," he leads her back to the table, "that if some one was out to harm you, they wouldn't have stopped at Aimar. I doubt there is much for you to worry about. More likely it was some poor cuckold or perhaps a disillusioned creditor. Even if it was some enemy of Tiffany's, there are much more direct avenues for revenge then through you.

"But most importantly, tell no one. Tiffany and Jasmyne were family and had a right to know, and I'll have a talk with Heero and Papajay later. I'm sure they will understand the benefits of discretion. There are very real dangers if this were to become common knowledge, and I want you to be aware of that."

aasha · aasha on Sat Nov 08, 2008 7:37 pm

For once, she didn't balk at being lead, she was almost docile as the wheels in her mind spun out of control. - Would Thomas do that? No...couldn't be him...he'd have found me by now. I'm not really hidden. But can I take that chance? if he hurt Aimar to get to me, couldn't he do the same to Red? Can't have been Thomas...he'd go after Tiff first, he'd see her as weak...not a man... -

She didn't understand half of his reassurance, though his tone conveyed his intent quite well. He was the only person she knew who could make her feel special and ignorant all at the same time. The only danger she could think of though, was in the person who'd done it finding out, and going after the ones who knew, so maybe her keeping her mouth shut for now was a good thing. She nodded her head, then murmured; I ain't sayin' nothin'...jus' tellin' Tiff he was gone bothered her a whole lot...I ain't wantin' nobody else hurtin' like that... - better for me to block it too, can't hurt me if I bury it. -

This time, she was fully aware of what she was doing when she turned to face him. Looking into his eyes was difficult at best, the candles had burned down and he was so much taller than her. His imposing presence cast flickering shadows on the wall, yet she still wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tight while trying to see his face.

aasha · aasha on Sat Nov 08, 2008 7:38 pm

TheRedChef wrote:They stood the dying light. The tension that racked him the last few weeks eased as he lost himself in her eyes and tight embrace. The challanges that had loomed over them were finally over. Tiffany was oddly accepting. He had expected some violence or a bigger outburst at the very least. Aimar's last troubling vestiges still lingered and distant, eager, part of his mind mulled over it. He pushed aside his doubts and savored the night.

"I've never had a more perfect evening, Aasha," he murmored softly in her ear, "I wish I could spend forever here with you"

aasha · aasha on Sat Nov 08, 2008 7:39 pm

She could feel the tension dissipating, from her body and his within the simple embrace. She didn't move, not to step closer nor back, but simply stayed as she was, absorbing his warmth. The inner arguments were firmly pushed back, to mull over when she had no choice, but for now there was only the two of them.

His face was hidden in shadow, but she hoped his reflected the hope lighting hers, the wonder of a new relationship, the firm footing she was trying so hard to find. All of this was new, yet it wasn't. She'd loved Aimar, deeply and truly believed he'd loved her, but this was different. There was nothing hidden, no work to be done for acceptance, it just was. She wasn't sure that it was love, not yet...her experiences there were sorely lacking, but she knew it was more than friendship she felt. The energy between them was palatable, her pulse quickening with the feel of his breath.

The entire evening had been filled with tensions, some she understood, some she didn't...she'd fought, tried to hide, run away even if only in her mind, been up and down so often it was a wonder she wasn't dizzy...but this moment made the rest fade into insignificance. His words touched deep within, like the gentle flutter of wings soothing her heart. Her lips were slightly parted as she gazed upwards, her voice a breathless whisper in the stillness; Yah...I wish...feelin' you....this moment, this feelin'...I don't want it to end. Ya makes me feel...safe...an' yet... She wasn't sure she could explain what the yet was, there was a quickening that belied the safety, that told of untold dangers, yet she wasn't afraid.

aasha · aasha on Sat Nov 08, 2008 7:40 pm

TheRedChef wrote:He started to understand why he was drawn to her. She spoke, but the words were lost in the moment.

...an' yet...

He kissed her.

aasha · aasha on Sat Nov 08, 2008 7:40 pm

Thoughts of safety and untold danger disappeared as their lips met. She was lost, melting into the kiss, into him. Rising up on tiptoes, her arms moved from his waist to twine around his neck.

She wasn't sure how long the kiss lasted, but when she finally pulled back to catch her breath, her face was flushed, her eyes glazed, and she was decidedly unsteady, leaning on him for support.

aasha · aasha on Sat Nov 08, 2008 7:41 pm

TheRedChef wrote:Red swept her up his arms. Only shear force of will and fear of an unmarked grave kept him from carrying her up the stairs. Tiff would sleep through anything... He desperately tried to ignore that dangerous line of thought.

He took her to the sitting room and laid her on the divan, the dress billowing up around them. He kneeled beside her and leaned close, her face cupped in his hand. He lingered in her eyes. Turmoil raged inside him.

"I...I better go." He tore himself away with great effort and left into the night.

aasha · aasha on Sat Nov 08, 2008 7:42 pm

She still hadn't caught her breath, let alone steadied herself when he swept her up. Her eyes widened in surprise as her arms tightened around his neck. Such a simple gesture, yet she felt fragile, feminine in a way she didn't expect.

Before she could give into the temptation to nuzzle into him, he'd laid her down, the motion causing a glimpse of skin before her skirt settled against her. As their gazes collided, she blushed, the longing showing clearly in her eyes.

A deep sigh escaped when he spoke, she'd turned to press a kiss into his palm just as he got up, her eyes lingering long after his form was out of view. At that moment, moving would ruin the dreamy state she'd fallen into, she drifted to sleep on the divan, still imagining she could feel his warmth through what was left of the night.